New Belgium Springboard Ale
Posted: Thu Feb 15, 2007 10:08 am
Springboard Ale is the latest seasonal beer from New Belgium, and a radical leap forward in beer design and technology. The recipe is a basic blond ale but includes goji, schisandra and wormwood -- ingredients named after Ranma 1/2 characters or something.
Radical enough, you say. You don't know the half of it, stupid.
The secret revolution is that the act of drinking the beer opens up a wormhole in your mouth, whisks your tongue through a dimension not of sight or sound but of SHAZZAM! and plants it firmly in Peter Bouckaert's ear canal; then, rather than returning your tongue not to your own world, banishes it to the land of wind and ghosts. The resulting aftertaste is of lemons, horse and wax; or maybe ghost lemons, ghost horse and wax. (I don't think wax has a soul so it can't be ghost wax but I'm too lazy to Google it.) Suffice it to say that, unless you have some sort of weird flavor fetish, this beer will leave you regarding New Belgium as possessors of a certain mad genius and wishing they'd use their talents for good instead of evil.
Radical enough, you say. You don't know the half of it, stupid.
The secret revolution is that the act of drinking the beer opens up a wormhole in your mouth, whisks your tongue through a dimension not of sight or sound but of SHAZZAM! and plants it firmly in Peter Bouckaert's ear canal; then, rather than returning your tongue not to your own world, banishes it to the land of wind and ghosts. The resulting aftertaste is of lemons, horse and wax; or maybe ghost lemons, ghost horse and wax. (I don't think wax has a soul so it can't be ghost wax but I'm too lazy to Google it.) Suffice it to say that, unless you have some sort of weird flavor fetish, this beer will leave you regarding New Belgium as possessors of a certain mad genius and wishing they'd use their talents for good instead of evil.